In today’s workplace, it’s not uncommon to encounter challenging personalities—sometimes even bullies—who try to exert control or intimidate. Whether it’s through veiled comments, dominating tactics, or subtle actions that undermine, this behavior disrupts a productive, respectful environment. But there’s a powerful antidote: understanding and leaning into your why.
Why Knowing Your WHY (Purpose) Matters
Knowing your why—your core purpose and values—gives you a solid foundation to stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and resist intimidation. When we’re clear on what drives us, it becomes easier to say “no,” let go of negative influences, and defend our boundaries. This strength can help prevent harmful behaviors from escalating, both in our personal interactions and within the broader culture of the workplace.
As a trusted colleague shared with me, even in the childhood sandbox, there was often a “bully” trying to dominate the play area. While the sandbox has evolved into today’s workplace, the dynamics often remain the same: there are still those who throw “sand”—using offensive words or actions to humiliate or isolate others. These behaviors aren’t just disrespectful; they’re often illegal.
Recognizing Workplace Harassment and Bullying
Workplace bullying, lateral violence, and harassment—including sexual harassment—are clear examples of what it DOES NOT mean to play nice. A culture of mutual respect and safety means actively working to address these issues, not turning a blind eye. Dealing with issues to get to the root of them, correcting or resolving them IS playing nice; according to Canadian law (Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety) and U.S. law (Civil Rights Center), workplace harassment is defined as any behaviour that offends, intimidates, or humiliates. Such behavior can range from personal attacks to ongoing harassment that erodes a person’s sense of belonging and well-being.
In the workplace, harassment often manifests as lateral violence—anger or hostility directed at colleagues instead of adversaries. Bullying and harassment can cause severe, long-term impacts on mental health, job satisfaction, and team dynamics. Understanding your why can help you avoid becoming a passive bystander and encourage you to act when you see behavior that crosses the line.
Taking a Stand
Setting boundaries when witnessing or experiencing harassment isn’t just about standing up for oneself; it’s also about speaking out for a healthier work culture. Whether it’s reporting inappropriate behavior, documenting incidents, or directly addressing the issue, responding to workplace bullying helps foster a culture of accountability.
Think of your why like the rumble strips on a highway—they’re there to alert you when boundaries are crossed. When workplace behavior veers off course, don’t ignore the “rumble.” Respond by speaking up, whether you’re a victim or a witness.
Standing up for yourself begins with knowing who you are and what you stand for. When you’re grounded in your why, it’s easier to navigate challenges, set boundaries, and create a respectful, inclusive workplace. For more on strategies for effective conflict resolution and building a workplace culture of respect, explore the 8 steps to PLAY NICE in my new book, Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out.
With peace,
Penny
