A couple of weeks ago, I discussed why people are attached to their “old stuff” and shared how those reasons help us understand our old thought patterns and, in turn, show us our capability to reshape our future. Now that you understand your old thought patterns, you may want to unpack them from your suitcase, detach, and finally let them go… but how?
Letting go seems impossible sometimes.
We can’t rewrite our past. The truth is that the past will always be your past, but you can change your attachment to it. These stories may weigh you down, but what if you shifted that liability into an asset? Great news—you can decide how you want your past stories to affect you, now in the present, and in the future. I get asked all the time by participants of my sessions, “How can I reshape this liability into an asset, how can I transform my attachment to my old story to let go, or lighten the weight it holds?” You start of by paying attention to your feelings.
Your feelings are like a guidance system offering you constant feedback. If you are feeling the weight holding you back from your past stories, this awareness is good feedback. Those feelings may consist of anger, depression, fear, unworthiness, rage, discouragement, jealousy, and even boredom. If these feelings arise, sit down and ask yourself where these feelings are coming from. Pay attention to the answers that begin to flow into your mind, and ask yourself, “What’s under this?” or “What earlier situations can I trace this back to?” Knowing the origin of these feelings and thoughts is key to transformation. You are connecting the dots of your life experiences and realizing what weight these stories hold, and that’s getting under the surface into the truth about what’s really driving your thinking and feelings.
Let’s explore…
Exploring the source of your emotions and understanding their origins is an integral step in transforming your relationship attachment with past stories. Use your feelings as a guidance system. By being aware of the feelings that accompany these memories and tracing them back to their roots, you have the capability to empower yourself to reframe your attachment to them, unpack them, and finally let them go. The process may not be quick or easy, but it’s a journey worth taking. By reshaping your perception of the past, you free yourself to focus on the present and future with a renewed sense of lightness and possibility. Remember, you have the power to decide how much weight these stories carry, and by addressing them with compassion and awareness, you can truly let them go.
I encourage you today to embrace the opportunity to create a narrative that serves you, one that reflects growth, healing, and transformation. Sit down, reflect, and write out the feelings and stories that might be holding you back. Are you curious what you will find?
This topic is one of the main reasons I wrote Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out. The book will help you transform yourself, and it will change the leader you are. What helps you build peaceful, productive, and profitable relationships at work, also helps in all areas of your life. It’s time to release the past and step into a future of your own making.
With peace,
Penny
Learn the strategies that will help your team resolve conflict in the NEW workplace.
- Embrace, accept, and welcome conflicting values
- Understand the importance of collaborative relationships for career advancement
- Take responsibility to co-create a winning culture with productive and profitable results
- Empathize with coworkers and even competitors to be the leader others WANT to follow
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