Most people avoid conflict because it has an awkwardness or discomfort about it. Even the word itself sounds like ‘combat’, but the truth is that healthy teams and partnerships embrace conflict because it makes them stronger. I’ve outlined how to move through conflict in my Roadmap Through Conflict playlist and offer insight with the 5 Biggest Mistakes Leaders Make When Conflict Surfaces to help individuals and managers through conflict. This leadership tip offers ways of resolving conflict that we can put directly into practice.
Top 3 Ways to Resolve Conflict
While there are different ways of resolving conflict, here are my top 3 that can be applied in both your personal and professional development:
- Take the fear out of approaching the conflict: The most stressful part of being in conflict or building up to a challenging conversation is right before you talk about it. Our mind can often spin different scenarios before we act, provoking fear of approaching the conflict…when that’s only the first step to getting through it. Fear is often false experiences appearing real.
- Talk it out: The payoff of having difficult conversations with humility and courage far outweighs the fear of having the conversation. When you do get the chance to talk, try to listen and speak (in that order if possible) from the present, not the past. Invite the other party to the conversation. “Can we talk?” is the easiest approach.
- Reach out to a professional: Sometimes, we have all the tools to get through conflict but struggle to apply them. While in your personal life, you may reach out to a therapist or counsellor, in the professional workplace, I recommend reaching out to a workplace relationship expert. An expert like me can work with you one-on-one to understand the situation and conduct a variety of trainings, workshops, and practices to help the whole team resolve conflict.
Unpack that suitcase!
While doing a two-day workplace restoration circle with a Health Centre team, I noticed a particularly quiet participant listening with attentiveness but not speaking up. On day two of the restoration, she arrived with enthusiasm to share the results of her homework. The participant had recognized her attachment to her past and that what she had packed in her suitcase all these years was weighing her down and preventing her from speaking up. She was instantly transformed and stepped into present-time thinking with a renewed perspective. I share more of this story in chapter two of my book Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace.
Our suitcase of tools for best workplace sandbox interactions can be unpacked and repacked with the tools that will serve us. Old programming, old thinking, old patterns, reasonable excuses, and emotional addictions aren’t going to help us grow in the present time. Pick an item that you want to unpack, then choose a method to break those old, hardwired beliefs. You can journal, meditate, have conversations to find a resolution, seek professional help, or all the above, along with my top 3 ways of resolving conflict.
Life isn’t just about feeling good all the time—it’s about doing what’s right. Now is the best time to make peace with your past so it doesn’t mess up your future, for although your past might be a great teacher, it’s a terrible master.
If you’re having trouble applying these practices, book a discovery call with me today. I’ve served organizations for decades with corporate training, mediation, restorative workplace success, and help build peaceful and productive workplace relationships.
With peace,
Penny
Learn the strategies that will help your team resolve conflict in the NEW workplace.
- Embrace, accept, and welcome conflicting values
- Understand the importance of collaborative relationships for career advancement
- Take responsibility to co-create a winning culture with productive and profitable results
- Empathize with coworkers and even competitors to be the leader others WANT to follow
Press Appearances:
- CEOWorld Magazine
- Blue Heron Journal
- Mareo McCracken
- EverydayMBA, Host: Kevin Craine
- Savvy Business
- Swimming in the Flood
- Get Down to Business
- HR.com Leadership Excellence
- Indian Management Magazine
- Crafting Solutions to Conflict
- Vantage Fit Podcast
- Stay tuned, more coming soon…
