I once heard a great statement from the CEO of the Union of Ontario Indians. While speaking to his team about staying committed he said, “If I’m not doing my job, please let me know, but don’t let it stop you from doing your job.” I will always remember this piece of wisdom, and I’ve shared it with so many audiences since.
People resonate with this because they form teams, agreements, pacts, set goals or create dreams together, but if someone falls out of commitment, sometimes everyone comes to a halt, blames those who quit and remain frustrated failures at what they had committed to.
I’d say this scenario is a reasonable excuse to quit, give up, or return to the status quo. People often don’t realize the underlying reasons they have for buying into others’ lack of commitment, but they are definitely getting something out of it, for example, it’s a good excuse to not put in your best effort because others aren’t.
Twice this week, I chatted with clients who’ve been challenged with the commitment of a team. A community leader spoke of his disappointment in a group that had a great idea and implemented it, but after a few roadblocks, people started wavering on their commitments, and the project fell apart. I suggested to the leader that he not quit. Others may quit, but that doesn’t mean he has to. His satisfaction should not be at the mercy of other people’s decisions.
Another commitment conversation I had was with a group of First Nation Youths who had been fundraising for a trip to explore the West coast of Canada, when some of their adult resources hadn’t honoured a commitment. I told the youths that this was the time for them to step up, take the lead, and win that race.
If we let others determine our destiny, we will most often be disappointed.
When helping a team stay committed, you can hold people accountable, but in order to be in the place of doing so, you’ve got to be holding up your end of the agreement, too.
Commitment is continuing to do what you’ve said you’d do,
long after the feeling you had when you made the commitment has gone.
Commitment is not a feeling. It’s a decision!
If you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship, you can certainly relate to that definition of commitment. I’ve learned that when you fear someone is not remaining committed, you can stay committed regardless. I didn’t learn it the first time around, but I’m learning it now. My soul knows when I am all in, and I feel steady despite any wavering of others.
The key to staying committed is to not quit. Try this statement over and over again.
I commit … I will not quit!
I commit … I will not quit!
I commit … I will not quit!
Your satisfaction depends on you, and no-one else.
p.s. As a follow up to the group of First Nations Youth fundraising for a trip to Vancouver, they re-committed yesterday despite the low funds raised, NOT TO QUIT. They have a dream, to explore another part of the country and to prove to themselves and their community that anything is possible with commitment. If you’d like to read about their progress or help out, check out their CBC news coverage.