The family’s excitement was building as our car approached the bright lights of the big city. My “honey” was able to get us six tickets to the Toronto vs. Washington NHL hockey game. This pre-Christmas present was to be a fun moment that our entire family would always remember. But more importantly, the real moments that occurred during our trip — the goofy giggling in the car; the hotel room pillow fight; the laugh-til-the-root beer-comes-out-your-nose incident in the restaurant — will always be a part of our family legacy and the stories we share as our family grows up.

Each month, I write about workplace relations, and how you can have better relationships in the office and with customers. This month, as the magic of the holiday season warms the hearts of people everywhere, I wanted to write about a more personal topic: giving the gift of ‘Just Being Real’ to those you love and care about. This message will benefit you personally, with family, and in the workplace.

The Christmas season has become very commercial. Working adults are doing more to prepare for the season, and that includes spending more money — right? Yes, I think that is a very fair assumption. But are we experiencing enjoyment? I asked several people this question, and their responses described the holidays as:

• “Busy”
• “Goes by like a whirlwind”
• “Exhausting”
• “Financially challenging”
• “Impossible to fit everything in”

This year, remember that the greatest gifts are Just Being Real  — the times when you can deeply connect with the people you care about. Share conversation. Listen to each other. Laugh. Learn about each other. Love unconditionally. We don’t need a holiday to do these things, but interestingly, we tend to miss the opportunities during the typical holiday hustle and bustle. What if we made time to give the gifts that really matter?

To that end, here are a few ideas.

In the workplace (as this is, after all, a newsletter for the workplace!) — Remember that people prefer genuine acknowledgement and recognition for their contributions to a lavish Christmas party. (Did I say ‘Christmas’? Oops! Isn’t that politically incorrect? I am standing my ground on this one!) Whether your workplace is hosting a lavish party or planning on celebrating festively otherwise, be sure to include some real recognition for those who serve you all year long. This is not just a task for management to praise their staff. It’s a task for everyone in the office to praise those who have helped them throughout the year. This costs nothing, but the payoff is huge. People will always remember how you made them feel, and want to be appreciated for their contributions.

At home — Couples, make time for each other. Feed each other’s hearts with affection, appreciation, and attention. Talk, listen, and love. This is the glue that holds you together. It’s common sense, but often not common practice. We find ourselves too busy working, taking care of the house, and delivering kids to their activities. Our hearts are starving, yet we are not being true to ourselves. We give of ourselves to create a good life for our kids by buying them toys, clothes, and gadgets, but are material things worth the stress and exhaustion?

For you — This season, take time for yourself, slow down, and accept that not everything is going to be perfect — and that’s okay. Years from now, you won’t remember a clean home or countless items under a Christmas tree, but you will remember  moments of just being real that you had with the special people in your life.

We must take the lead on this concept, as others may be stuck in traditions that have spun out of control and are not within realistic time and money constraints. In taking the lead, we will be setting an example. If we only give our time and attention to material things, we will be teaching our children and those around us that objects, not love, bring happiness.

When you’re deciding how to spend your time and money as a parent, ask  “Do you think that your kids are going to grow up and say to you, ‘Mom and Dad, I’m so grateful that you totally sacrificed your own happiness and relationship and growth for me so that I’d never have to hear the word ‘no’. Thank you for not fully living your lives. I plan to follow in your footsteps and give up all my fun and personal satisfaction when I have kids.’?” Of course, our kids will never say that.

The people whom you spend time with this season are a gift, and they are only in this lifetime temporarily. Don’t wait until they are gone to pay them tribute.

Moments of just being real occur when the people you are with feel

• loved;
• valued;
• as though they are making a difference;
• understood; and
• accepted just the way they are.

I am making a commitment to having many more moments of just being real this season. Will you join me in making a special effort to spread the holiday magic to those in your workplace and personal life?

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Penny