The Barriers to Listening

image of Penny Tremblay speaking to a gentleman about listening at a conference in front of her Tremblay Leadership Centre poster

Active listening is a cornerstone of effective leadership, vital for resolving workplace conflicts and fostering strong relationships. However, several barriers often interfere with our ability to listen actively. To become better leaders and colleagues, we must understand and overcome these barriers.

Distractions

Multitasking, mind-wandering, background noise, and interruptions can hinder our ability to hear and understand what is being communicated. When your mind is running freely with your own stress, ideas, judgments, or analysis of what you are hearing, you’re limiting your potential to restate, acknowledge, or validate what you’ve heard. We can manage many of these distractions by setting up our conversations in quiet or private areas, offering our full attention, and being mindful of our focus. Active listening requires your attention. If you don’t have time to listen, put the conversation off to a better time in the very near future. If you missed what someone said because your mind wandered, ask them to repeat it. “Can you repeat that last part? I don’t think I caught what you said.” People are willing to repeat when they know you’re seeking to understand them.

Overcoming Past Programming and Limiting Beliefs

When people communicate, they often speak and listen from the past programming of old stories and limiting beliefs. You could be hearing someone’s words and “already listening,”; hearing a different meaning than what’s being communicated to you. Similarly, you can expect that others might interpret your words differently based on their past experiences. In negotiations or challenging conversations, people often get preoccupied with their next response rather than fully listening. This preoccupation leads to misunderstandings and misinterpretations, which can escalate conflicts.

The Impact of Judgement, Analyzing and Advising

When we’re judging, analyzing, or advising, we’re not actively listening. Judging and opinions can obstruct listening. “Why can’t people just think and behave the way we do?”

To overcome this, adopt the idea that what you’re hearing isn’t right or wrong, black or white, or good or bad. It just is what it is—someone’s communication, feelings, and perspective. Other barriers to listening come in the form of giving advice: “You shouldn’t worry about these minor things” or analyzing: “Maybe the other person is just having a bad day.” Be mindful of your tendencies when you are listening, and try to just be wide open to let others’ words come in.

I encourage you to follow these practical steps today to overcome the barriers to listening:

  1. Create a Distraction-Free Environment: Ensure conversations take place in quiet, private settings where you can focus completely.
  2. Practice Mindfulness: Clear your mind of internal distractions to be fully present.
  3. Acknowledge and Validate: Restate what you’ve heard to confirm understanding and show that you value the other person’s perspective.
  4. Suspend Judgment: Approach conversations with an open mind, recognizing that different perspectives enrich the workplace.

By actively listening, leaders can build trust, resolve conflicts more effectively, and foster a collaborative and respectful workplace. The path to effective leadership starts with the simple act of truly listening.

Active listening is the 3rd of eight PLAY NICE strategies I wrote in Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out. If you are still curious as to how to actively listen, check out my YouTube video here: Watch to learn the art of how to Actively Listen.

Penny

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