The greatest need of the human spirit is the need to feel understood.
Do you listen to respond or to understand? You may be thinking that you listen all the time, but do you actively listen? Active listening is much harder than it seems, especially in our current times. Presently, the average person starts to lose focus after 6 seconds… yes 6 seconds. Why is that? After COVID-19 and with the increase of video reels on social media platforms, our brains seek gratification almost instantly, or else we’ll swipe. The art of active listening takes awareness and a lot of practice. We need to be able to focus entirely on the person who we are having the conversation with, despite the platform we use.
Practice Active Listening
In my early twenties, I worked as a software trainer for a company in Sudbury, Ontario. At that time, we were trying to secure a significant training contract with a client named Bill, but despite multiple attempts, we were unable to close the deal. Eventually, my company decided to send me to meet Bill, even though I had no specific strategy or pitch prepared. Instead of focusing on selling, I relied on what I did best: active listening.
When I entered Bill’s office, I started by asking him questions about the various elements I noticed around his office. My genuine curiosity led me to ask numerous questions and, importantly, rephrase his answers back to him. I nodded in agreement and let him do most of the talking, demonstrating that I was truly engaged in the conversation.
To my surprise, an hour later, Bill complimented me by saying I was the best conversationalist he had ever spoken to. It wasn’t because I had wowed him with a perfect pitch or an impressive presentation. It was simply because I had actively listened to him, and made him feel heard and understood. This approach ultimately led us to secure the big training deal.
Listening = cha-ching$$!!
This experience taught me a rich lesson about the power of active listening. By genuinely listening and showing empathy, you can build strong connections and trust, which are crucial in both personal and professional settings. Active listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the underlying needs and concerns of others, which can lead to more meaningful and successful interactions.
If you have the chance to be the first listener, take it! Say nothing, hear everything, including what is not being said (feelings, behaviour) and then tell the person what you understood them to say. Active listening is the 3rd of eight PLAYNICE strategies I wrote in Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out. If you are still curious as to how to actively listen, check out my YouTube video here: Watch to learn the art of how to Actively Listen.
I challenge you to actively listen today, to someone who really matters to you. You’ll fuel one of their greatest needs by helping them feel understood.
With peace,
Penny
Learn the strategies that will help your team resolve conflict in the NEW workplace.
- Embrace, accept, and welcome conflicting values
- Understand the importance of collaborative relationships for career advancement
- Take responsibility to co-create a winning culture with productive and profitable results
- Empathize with coworkers and even competitors to be the leader others WANT to follow
Press Appearances:
- CEOWorld Magazine
- Blue Heron Journal
- Mareo McCracken
- EverydayMBA, Host: Kevin Craine
- Savvy Business
- Swimming in the Flood
- Get Down to Business
- HR.com Leadership Excellence
- Indian Management Magazine
- Crafting Solutions to Conflict
- Vantage Fit Podcast
- Stay tuned, more coming soon…
