A woman spoke of her terrible childhood to a psychologist, to which the doctor replied, “That’s just ‘so what’.” Then, as the woman waited in anticipation for his empathy and compassion, the psychologist continued: “The real ‘what’ is what are you going to do about it now?” In this way, the psychologist was encouraging his patient to think about spending time and energy creating new thoughts and actions, in order to remedy her victimized viewpoint. By taking responsibility for her future, the patient was taking back the power than had been surrendered to her perpetrator a long time ago.
We cannot change the past, we cannot change others, nor can we change certain circumstances that may befall us. We can, however, change our responses to these things. Choosing to respond in a way that moves us toward our goals is an effective use of our time and energy. This is taking personal responsibility€”response-ability is another way I like to write this concept, meaning that you have the ability to choose your response.
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Penny