We need skills to PLAY NICE when the going gets tough…right? The tool of Actively Listening will never steer you wrong.
When people come together to have difficult conversations, they tend to be thinking more about what they’re going to say, versus what they’re going to learn. Active listening gets you in the mindset that you are seeking to understand the situation from the other person’s perspective, and then you can feedback what you heard so that they can learn what you understood. Period. Simple. But…not easy. Trust me, this works.
If you have the chance to be the first listener, take it! Say nothing, hear everything, including what is not being said (feelings, behaviour) and then tell the person what you understood them to say. Here’s how I do it. While they’re talking, I am focused on them, making eye contact, nodding or gesturing that I am with their every word.
Watch to learn the art of how to Actively Listen:
When they’re finished talking, I say “If I understood you correctly, you think that…or you feel that…” They feel relief when they feel understood. You’ll be the king or queen of the conversation for being the listener who focuses on the facts and is seeking to understand the other person’s perspective without making it about you… yet, you’ll get your chance to talk after you understand them. This is sometimes where I see a conflict dissolve. Poof! People feel understood, and sometimes that’s enough.
If not, There are 5 more tips, so download the complete Roadmap to Move Through Conflict toward improved cooperation and collaboration in your workplace.
Relationships are important. There are times when entanglements require intervention. Reach out to an HR person, conflict resolution specialist, or mediator like myself.
I’m committed to helping you restore your workplace to peace and productivity. If you can’t find your way, call Penny Tremblay, because the high cost of conflict is avoidable, and profits can be used for better things.
In case you missed them:
Step 1 in the PLAY NICE system is P – Position yourself for success
Step 2 in the PLAY NICE system is L – Lighten Your Load