Would you like to say no and be rich? Rich in self-worth, relationships, health, time, spirit and wealth? If you answered yes, read on.
I am going to give you many things to say YES to when it comes to saying no.
Are you willing to free yourself from the burden of saying yes? (You can say yes here; it’s okay to say yes to free yourself!) Burdens are created for us when we say yes to people, places or things that we really don’t want. Our spirit is not in alignment with our choice of ‘yes’, and therefore it’s a burden. For example, adopting two foster children for life is not a burden for some people who want to do it, whereas agreeing to babysit a friend’s kid for an hour when you would rather not is a burden.
Learn to say no to people, places and things that you don’t want to take on. Simple, but not easy. Why? Because most people fear conflict and dealing with the potential hurt feelings or tension that may arise in someone else, only because we are being true to ourselves.
Do you want to be rich in time, so that you can have more of it for yourself? Time is a limited resource; for everything you say yes to, you must say no to something else. So many people I talk to exhibit the symptoms of busyness: “I would love to ______, but I’m just so busy.” We are all busy doing something most of the time, but what we are choosing to do isn’t necessarily a choice based on what we want to do; more often, it is what we feel obligated to do for others because we won’t say no.
Women in particular have a harder time saying no because we were taught to please others, be pleasant, not cause trouble, and nurture others’ needs. For some women, saying yes makes us feel valued; in essence, we’ve been conditioned to believe that saying yes equals being valuable. Saying no, therefore, makes some women feel selfish, lazy or guilty. Do you recognize this behavior in yourself? (Hope you’re not saying YES, but if you are, you really need to try on a powerful two letter word: one that starts with ‘n’ and ends with ‘o’. Practice saying it out loud right now: “NO!”)
Do you want to be rich in self-worth? Of course you do! Learning to say no puts YOU before others. Take care of yourself first. You can still be amazing to serve most of the demands of others. The problem with saying no to ourselves and yes to others’ demands is that we build up anger, resentment, anxiety, stress, and a feeling of being powerless. Symptoms of these five emotional buildups can manifest themselves physically as pain, lack of energy, or illness. If we direct the buildup outward, we show that cranky side of ourselves, which is – well, you know – not our best side. We take it out on others if we tend to be aggressive, or go into ‘ignore mode’ if we’re more passive-aggressive. Either way, we think others are paying the price, but really, we are. The cost of suffering is huge considering that our choices and decisions have lead us down a path that we thought in the beginning was easier to say yes to. Make sense? (You can say yes here; again, it’s okay to say yes and admit your mistakes, but if you’d simply have said no in the first place, you might not have as many admissions.)
The good news is that saying no is an art form, one of of self-expression. Saying no properly is a learned skill, and mastering this art will bring you riches in confidence, health, and money. Do you want more money? (I know you are saying YES to that!)
Money is just paper and ink, but it has value. If you want others to value you, you must be willing to increase the value of yourself. Invest in yourself by practicing saying no. Learn more about why you fear conflict, and say yes when you’d rather not. Practice. Say NO to yourself the next time you are looking in a mirror. Say NO to the next request that isn’t in alignment with your spirit. Practice being fully expressed, and accept that saying no is a part of that.
Learning to say no in a good way is priceless. Invest and be rich in self-worth, relationships, health, time, spirit and wealth.
P.S. Click to learn more about how to say NO by bringing this seminar Assertiveness and Confrontational Skills (for Managers or Staff ) to your workplace.