Do you ever dream of coming home from a trip to find those in your home jumping for joy because you’re back? That was always one of my dreams. My career involves travelling to distant places, often for a week at a time, so returning home is a big deal for me. When I’m away, I miss my kids and my dog, and I’ve learned to find value in allowing them to miss me too.
As a working mom, I used to ask myself, “Am I enough?” Enough for my family, my career, and my other roles and responsibilities? This has been a harsh sense of doubt to place on myself. (But do you notice that I have placed it on myself?) Even if others try to place such doubts on me, I’m the only one who can allow them to stick with me—or not—based on my own thoughts of self-value. Trust me: I have allowed these doubts to stick with me in the past, and they beat me down, leaving me feeling inadequate and unsatisfied. This has not served me well.
How do the thoughts of others have more influence over me than what I think or choose to create for myself? It’s been a struggle, but I’ve broken through to the other side. Today I can honestly say that I am enough; in fact, I am more than enough. The ‘more than’ bubbles out the top of me and allows me to serve others.
These days, when I return home, those who missed me are jumping for joy. Why? Because I have let them miss me. I have stepped out of “I’m inadequate as a mother, author, speaker or trainer” and into “I am enough” and “I am a good parent / author / speaker etc. My own self-perception leads the way, and the energy that I create and leave with my kids is that of creating an example of really living and doing what is in line with my purpose, and feeling no sense of guilt about not serving them every day.
As Mother’s Day approaches, I want to honor the working moms—the strong ladies who juggle and balance their careers, homes and families. My wish for you is that you know in your heart and in your mind that you are enough, and that sometimes the less you do for your children means the more they can do for themselves. This is where they grow rich in self-worth: by doing for themselves. Of course, there is always a healthy balance to strike against the issues that burden working moms and their family lives, but the most important lesson I’ve learned is to let others miss you. Isn’t it an old saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”?
Taking the time to be who I really am has certainly been working for me and my kids. Let others miss you sometimes, as you venture through life on your own journey.
