Recently I delivered an inspirational message for our local Toastmasters club’s tenth anniversary celebration. My message was, “If you’re not appearing, you’re disappearing.”
I joined Toastmasters about ten years to hone my communication and leadership skills and network with other people. I started appearing at meetings and taking on various roles available through the club, which pushed and pulled me in ways I had never expected. As a result, my life was permanently stretched and shaped by these experiences, which also provided me with tremendous lift in my career. Once I had attained the highest communication designation and almost every leadership credential that the Toastmasters organization offered , I left the club. I felt that I wasn’t growing anymore and needed to expand.
While working with a professional speaking coach, I was encouraged to write a book that would leverage my speaking career, and so I did. This gave me a ‘reasonable’ excuse to hide out, as authors often do—in a little cabin in the woods where they can write to their hearts’ content. I hid behind my new role as an author and stopped attending the usual meetings, networking events and community involvement opportunities that I had made a part of my routine. A couple of years passed before I realized that, despite my reasonable excuse for not appearing, I had been slowly disappearing.
Attending Toastmasters is once again on my list of regular commitments. I’m reappearing at my local club, and that means more pulling, pushing and stretching into a newer and greater me.
- What does ‘appearing’ mean for you?
- How do you need to ‘appear’ or show up to become the greatest you?
- What holds you back from ‘appearing’?
These questions are important, and worth finding answers for. Perhaps ‘appearing’ means:
- Giving 100% in what you’re doing at the time. While you’re at work, be fully present in your duties. When you’re at home, be there in body, mind and spirit.
- Stepping out of your comfort zone and being vulnerable and humble to new and different roles or tasks.
- Choosing a new perspective or way of feeling about a situation.
- Initiating a conversation that needs to be held; perhaps one that’s more challenging or difficult than usual, but necessary.
- Committing to a greater level of service to your beliefs and values, having an open mind and heart, or awakening your spirit.
Whatever ‘appearing’ means to you, it’s something that is calling you right now to become bigger and better. Listen closely.
What holds us back from fully appearing as we could? Often, it is our own egos. The ego asks only one question: “Am I right, or am I wrong?” Ego is fueled by fear: of not being good enough; of failure; of not being liked; of losing popularity; of not knowing everything. Our ego tries to protect us, but in doing so it also holds us back from appearing as our whole self. Ego wants us to hide, avoid taking risks, look perfect, and be complacent.
Our egos are not bad parts of us, but things we need to be aware of. Becoming vulnerable, accepting your imperfections, and being patient with your impatience are all ways of becoming more awake and conscious, and more authentically ‘you’: confident, self–worthy, and deserving of life’s greatest offerings.
We must be brave enough to appear as we are, and who we feel called to be. We must be brave enough to be vulnerable; to stumble, make mistakes, and learn from them. We must be humble enough to be willing to see ourselves truthfully, and patient enough to love ourselves proactively. Being humble is to recognize not only our strengths, but also the opportunities we’re given for self-improvement.
We must feel compassion for where we are and how far we’ve come, and honor ourselves for trying. We must emerge from under the protection of our egos to appear the way that the world needs us to appear.
As we move into the holiday season, I believe that the best gift you can give to anyone is the gift of really appearing as you are. Be the gift this season, and remember: if you’re not appearing, you’re disappearing!
Penny