All strong relationships require productive conflict in order to last over time and to grow. This is true for any teams, such as in business, friendships, couples and family models.

Passionate debates are typically avoided by nature because it’s easier to bypass the necessary conversation than it is to deal with hurt feelings or tension, but the fact of the matter is that healthy conflict is actually a time saver. Teams that don’t spend time and energy arguing out their differences doom themselves by revisiting issues time and time again without resolution.

Acknowledging that conflict is productive is the first step toward developing the ability to engage in it. Engaging in the type of conflict that is limited to concepts and ideas will help a team or relationship produce the best possible solution, in the shortest period of time. I am not talking about mean attacks; personality based fighting or interpersonal politics. I am talking about conflict limited to concepts and ideas.

The second step to using conflict for the benefit of the team is to begin working through sensitive issues with a degree of objectivity (based on idea’s and concepts, not personal ego’s and feelings) with a commitment to staying on topic until a resolution is found.

For example, let’s look at conflict that may arise due to competing priorities between sales and quality assurance departments of a manufacturing company. Sales wants to meet their target with the new product launch, and quality assurance needs to have certain amendments made to the product before it is ready for the market. This is not a matter of who is right (ego), or which department is more important to have their way (political), rather, it is a matter of the two departments engaging in productive conflict to produce the best solution for the whole organization, in the most efficient amount of time. Perhaps their solution would be to pre-sell quantities of the product, ensuring that what goes out meets with the highest company standard. This solution is much more beneficial to a company than having a sub standard product sold, processing countless returns and risking a tarnished customer image. It saves time because the issue gets dealt with, once and for all, and it usually gets dealt with efficiently when two parties meet with the understanding that conflict can be very productive.

Recognizing that a healthy debate is uncomfortable but necessary gives participants the confidence to continue. It’s good for the continued growth of the team, and the development of healthy conflict management and resolution skills will be life long performance enhancers for everyone involved.

Does anyone care to argue about the benefits of embracing conflict? J

Penny

p.s.  This article is written with gratitude to Julie, who helped reaffirm the power of productive conflict.  Thank you Julie.