Those early skillsets we learned from sandbox play included social and collaborative skills, and the acceptance that things aren’t permanent, because … nothing is ever set in sand.
Socially, we learned to share toys, and small spaces, and to take turns. Collaboration, negotiation, and problem-solving were also important for those little roadway projects and the villages we built, and we practiced the constant shape-shifting because castles flopped over, and water dissolved what once was into a puddle of mud, so we had to enjoy things in the moment, then create something even better next time.
We understand ‘playing nice in the sandbox’ at work as a metaphor to symbolize these timeless principles of caring, sharing, building, and rebuilding together, which is nice and easy when things are smooth, but how do you manage difficult situations with people when you’re in a sandstorm?
Do you throw sand?
Do you make intimidating mud patties and serve them to your colleagues?
Do you typically pick up your toys and go home?
There are many similarities between the early sandbox and the workplace sandstorm — I mean sandbox, but we can all fall into “childish thinking” quickly when things get tough, causing stress, conflict, and poor relationships.
It’s comical when I ask people about their early memories playing in the sandbox because their answers match interactions found in today’s workplace. For example, the impermanence of sand mirrors the high level of change in our workplace, our workforce, and perhaps even our work itself. So much has shape-shifted, and we get to rebuild, (or pick up our toys and go home). Throwing sand is likened to firing off negativity, or blaming others for circumstances rather than looking within for solutions.
Early memories shared with me totally relate to today’s workplace culture, including a feeling of lack of fairness, comparison, equality, bullying, jealousy and even people who stomp on our sand structures… (sabotage our project or our work) in order to be the winner or king/queen (or non-binary) of the castle! Remember those kids (colleagues) who hoard all the toys, or sulk if they don’t get their way, or those who never even get invited to play (equality and diversity)?
Some people even told me they got sand in places they didn’t care to admit, and I don’t even want to imagine how that relates today (but I’m curious if you have a humorous answer for me). Those who typically pick up their toys and go home are akin to those who don’t like a situation at work and check out, quiet quit, or start seeking other opportunities, only to find out that the grass is never greener on the other side.
So what can we do?
Relating these same issues to the workplace sandbox, many of the challenges we learned to overcome at an early age can help us build strong organizations. For example, leveraging comparison, competition, wanting to win as a whole team, desiring the best resources, having fun and building productively are all useful skills. The only difference is that we all seek profitability in playing the game of work, and we could be so much more effective, efficient and profitable if we played together, without throwing sand, or making and serving mud patties, or picking up our toys and going home.
This leadership tip was inspired by my newest book, Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace and will help you position yourself for good play, which requires an awareness of what you’re bringing (or not bringing) into the workplace sandbox.
Penny
Learn the strategies that will help your team resolve conflict in the NEW workplace.
- Embrace, accept, and welcome conflicting values
- Understand the importance of collaborative relationships for career advancement
- Take responsibility to co-create a winning culture with productive and profitable results
- Empathize with coworkers and even competitors to be the leader others WANT to follow
Press Appearances:
- CEOWorld Magazine
- Blue Heron Journal
- Mareo McCracken
- EverydayMBA, Host: Kevin Craine
- Savvy Business
- Swimming in the Flood
- Get Down to Business
- Stay tuned, more coming soon…