Two weeks ago, a very special couple asked me to help them prepare for a yard sale by sorting through the contents of two storage units they had filled after downsizing from their large urban home to a smaller pad in beautiful Prince Edward County. My daughter was working in the area, at a Bakery and Café in Picton, so I accepted the couple’s challenge and spent a few days going through boxes and boxes of stuff.
All this ‘stuff’ got me thinking about inner ‘stuff’ and emotional ‘stuff’ we hold on to which creates clutter in our lives, workplaces, bodies and relationships. So I’ve dedicated this month’s article to decluttering the emotional baggage that most people have stored—some for decades—preventing us from really connecting with ourselves, and creating conflict with the people that matter to us, and those we have to work with.
Imagine you’re taking a look inside your mind. It’s dark, so you lift an imaginary lid on the top of your head and shine a flashlight inside. “OMG! Where did all this stuff come from?” you ask yourself. It’s like Grandma’s attic, with cobwebs and dust, trunks locked up tight, boxes stacked high, and suitcases filled with stuff.
Now that you’ve seen the clutter inside your own head, turning off the flashlight won’t make you any less aware of it, so leave the light of awareness turned on to this emotional baggage from your past. You actually bring this baggage with you where ever you go and it creates a degree of disconnect in relationships with your colleagues, your family, and yourself. But what’s in those boxes, trunks and suitcases? Past resentments, things unsaid, conflicts unresolved, lack of integrity and authenticity, untruths, and other awful things. Yikes! Isn’t that terrifying?
The good news is that these things all belong to you, which means that you can start cleaning them up immediately.
Emotional baggage can be unpacked, sorted, organized and cleared out just like material items in your home. Things given to you by your parents that don’t seem to be yielding great relationships can be grouped together to be dealt with. Burdens that aren’t yours but you carry them as if they were, can be given back to their rightful owners. The things you thought you had dealt with but keep coming between you and others can be put into the “deal with once and for all” pile, and the missing parts of you that you gave to someone else can be noted for a time in the near future when you can take your pieces back, and become whole again.
Decluttering requires an awareness of how this stuff is showing up in our lives, a willingness to reflect on where it comes from, and the courage to stand up and deal with it. If all you can do is become aware of how your emotional clutter is affecting your relationships, that’s a great start. Our professional services can get you and your work team to a clearing that even seems impossible.
If you prefer to leave the clutter alone and display it publicly—like at a yard sale—don’t be surprised when people buy into your junk. If you’re wondering how to manage the people that get caught up in your stuff at work or in your personal life, just clean up your clutter and there won’t be much for them to get entangled with.
