Conflict is costly. Imagine the time, aggravation, and money that could be saved if people found peace with their unresolved past and embraced future conflict as an opportunity.
Over the past decades, I’ve worked at leadership development in workplaces everywhere, and resolving conflict has been a large part of my success.
There are many reasons why I understand conflict resolution to be an ‘inside job.’ The biggest and deepest reason is one’s past. We all have past experiences of conflict, and many of them are unresolved, meaning that we are not completely over the issue, and we’re carrying around a story about it. We make meaning of these experiences, and we perceive them to be true, and we journey along through life applying old meaning to new circumstances. I’ve written a whole chapter about this in my new book, Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out, because it’s a deep subject, well worth mastering.
We can take a good look at why something triggers aggravation within us by looking within, finding the old story, and reflecting on how it’s influencing the present for proof that our old stories are playing out in real-time. (By the way, most of these old stories are fiction because the meaning we’ve associated with them isn’t necessarily true today.)
Do you realize that we can change the meaning of our past stories? Just like a movie that has been produced with alternate endings, or an interactive movie where you can choose your own ending, your story can also be edited in your mind, even though it’s in the past. Rewriting your story is a viable way to resolve inner conflict and ensure that you don’t get entangled with others as often. Our minds are powerful tools for conflict resolution, and so it’s within our power to resolve our own internal conflict.
Have a peaceful week,
Penny
EXCITING NEWS: My new book is now available for preorder! Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out is a playful system to help professionals embrace (and even welcome) conflict with coworkers, bosses, clients, and others.
Purchase your copy at: Amazon.com, BooksAMillion, Barnes and Noble, Rowman and Littlefield, or IndieBound.org
