The Holiday Season brings back memories of the past, and our family traditions that have played out year after year.  We find our selves acting out the same experiences almost as if by default with the new season.  And for some of us it works, and for others, things don’t work anymore.  We’re growing and changing and our usual traditions are not, and there’s a new misfit where there used to be pleasure.

If your traditions aren’t amazing anymore, are you willing to break them?  Are you willing to stand up for something new and live it out without guilt or shame for wanting change? Are you courageous enough to have conversations that speak to why the old traditions don’t work for you and vulnerable enough to offer different ideas with your family or friends?

This morning I’m thinking about the people who’ve had major changes in their lives and how their holiday season was different.  One acquaintance of mine lost her 18 year old son earlier this year, and has had to fit into this season with her four other children.  Why did she have to even try on a holiday spirit? – Its tradition.

Another client of mine spoke to me about hosting a traditional family get together and having an angry brother attend who didn’t even speak to her.  Why did she allow him in? – It’s been a family tradition.  These examples are painful expressions of how going with the old traditions can cost us in emotional work outs and steal some of own self-worth.

I spoke with a friend who’s in her first year of sobriety, visiting home for the holidays and fending off invitations to drink and party like she used to.  After all, tis the season for those traditional visits that include festive drinks right?  But not for her.  She’s rich in almost 10 months of sober living, and standing firm in that.

I’ve had to divide time with my children to share them with their father for the first time in sixteen years, and create my own new agenda for a part of this season.  I’ve been forced to break tradition.  I could have sat in self-pity or bitterness but instead I found a new way to give away my love and charm to other people on these special days.  I’m feeling very rich today with the new connections.

As we’re coming down from the holiday season, I encourage you to ask yourself what worked for you, and what did not, and even though some of these things were long standing traditions, are you willing to break the ones that no longer serve you?

Are you willing to break traditions and be rich in piece of mind, self-worth, or rich in just the practice of knowing what’s best you versus what others want you to do?   When your mind is clear from the resentment of doing things that others choose for you, you’ve got the space to create something else.  Break tradition where it’s right for you, and be rich in something new.