Have you noticed the word play when you break down the word “assume”? When you assume, you make an *SS out of U and ME.
Of course, sometimes we need to assume because it’s a logical decision-making process. For instance, I assume the roads may be slippery on a frosty morning, so I’ll give myself extra time to get where I’m going.
However, I can think of a few lessons I’ve learned about assumptions: how they cause us so much unnecessary conflict, where they stem from, and how to think them through before they make an *SS out of U and ME.
Here are a couple of examples.
Early this September, I ramped up my marketing efforts and made contact with people on my prospect list. There was a period of about two weeks during which I was persistent and consistently planting seeds, but no one was getting back to me. I began to assume no one was interested. Rather than letting that assumption get me down, I just kept persisting and, in time, the seeds began to sprout.
If you’re an entrepreneur, you can relate to this feeling; if you’re not, I’m certain you can relate it to other areas of your life.
How often do we let others’ lack of engagement with us bring forward assumptions which are deeply rooted in our own fears and insecurities?
- Maybe when someone doesn’t like or comment on a social media post, we assume they’re miffed or disinterested.
- Maybe when we need some help and people aren’t responding, we assume no one cares.
- Maybe when we are going through a change, we assume it’s not going to work out for the better.
The list goes on. But before we get to the next example, let’s define a few terms:
Fact: A thing that is known or proved to be true, including a statement about one’s own feelings or thoughts.
Observation: The action or process of closely observing something or someone.
Assumption: A thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen without proof.
How can we apply these terms in a real-world scenario?
Fact: In the workplace, Susie competed for an internal job, and lost to Paul.
Fact: Susie felt defeated and was angry.
Observation: Over time, Susie continued to find flaws in Paul’s performance and results.
Assumption: Susie accused Paul of being less than capable.
To be closest to the truth, we need to be aware of the differences between facts and assumptions. If we can ask questions about the things we assume and play detective on our own selves to uncover the truth, we’d make less inaccurate assumptions and create less conflict in our lives and the lives of others.
Pay attention to your assumptions. Are they facts or fears? Are you letting them take you out? Are you making them mean something that doesn’t serve your best interests? Don’t be afraid to ask questions to clarify motives—both yours and others’. Asking questions is an excellent communication skill.
I’d like to assume this was helpful 🙂 But I won’t, so please message me to confirm and I may share your stories on my Facebook page.
