I recently encountered a metaphor for agitation and its effect on relationships.

I was hand washing some delicate garments the other day.  As the warm water soaked my fine clothing, I added some mild detergent and began to agitate the water with my hand to begin the cleaning process.

I started thinking about the act of agitation, and how—in relationships with ourselves and others—agitated feelings and conversations are uncomfortable.  Yet, similar to doing laundry, we won’t get the same clean result without the agitation.

The word ‘agitate’ comes from a Latin derivative agitare, which means “to set into motion”.  Today’s definition is “to disturb or excite emotionally, arouse, or perturb”.

We create stories for ourselves based on our past experiences with feelings such as fear, guilt, shame, resentment, and anger.  Our attachment to these stories blocks us from seeing what we really need to see, and from the real truth and wisdom of being ourselves in every moment.  To become free and clear, we need a driving force to set ourselves into motion.  We need issues of the past to be shaken up, rattled around, and detached from who we really are.  We need agitation to set into motion the dirt we carry and clean it off, providing us with a fresh start.  And we need it more often than many are willing to endure.

We don’t just add water and soap to our dirty laundry, though.  There’s always some scrubbing required to achieve the squeakiest clean.  Sounds simple enough, but it’s not always so easy.  Not everyone is willing to handle the discomfort of the agitation process.  We need to be able to move past such discomfort and allow the cleansing process to rid us of the unclean, impure, or unnecessary.

Give yourself permission to be discomforted by agitation from time to time.  Don’t be afraid to agitate your situation to shake free anything that holds you back.