My hometown is reeling from an outbreak of the South African variant of COVID, which is highly contagious, yet I truly believe that we can reduce the effects of anything in our lives if we reduce the attention that we place on it, AND we can amplify the effects of anything that we give our attention to. Let’s decide to make kindness more contagious by understanding the options we have.
Focus on Love Rather Than Fear
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. And we need to learn to love ourselves first. – John Lennon
LOVE is the experience of positive emotions such as happiness, contentment, fulfillment, peace, and joy.
FEAR is the experience of negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, guilt and hate and is often described as False Experiences Appearing Real. If you think about all the times you feared something, versus the times that actually warranted your fears, you’d understand that we tend to get frightened about the ‘what-if’s’ way more often than their actual occurrences.
There are many things we can expend our energy on that will help us be well, and do good, just as there are many uncertainties to take our minds on a wild ride full of fear and insecurities. The first questions to ask yourself then is, “What result do I seek, and which of the two options above will get me closer to what I want?”
Self LOVE and Self Care
Being honest with yourself is a foundational pillar to health and safety. You probably understand your needs better than anyone else and if you don’t, reach out for help because there is a myriad of services available to you. Take care of your safety, follow protocols and reduce stress by feeding your body, mind and spirit appropriately. You have control over yourself so take responsibility and spend your energy on YOU.
What you don’t have control over is what other people do, which makes dealing with their actions and circumstances a waste of your energy. You’ll only drive yourself crazy trying to control others when you have no authority over them.
How to Show Kindness When You Don’t Feel Like It
Times are stressful! Trust me, I’ve been on the COVID conflict roller coaster more times with family and neighbor conflict than I care to admit, but I’ve also moved through it unscathed, stronger and more confident in my resolution skills. You can too. It’s a mindset shift, and easier said than done. Here are some tips for being kind, even when you don’t feel like it.
Recognize that everyone is fighting a tough battle
What you see of someone’s life is like the tip of an iceberg. You have no idea what’s under the surface, and your assumptions are well … likely going to be inaccurate. Recognizing that all people are struggling with some aspect of their new future, grieving what has been lost, fearing the unknown, trying to stay well, etc. helps us find compassion for them, rather than making up stories that aren’t true or trying to exert control over them.
Offer Assistance
How can you help? Can you run an errand, be a good listener, maintain confidentiality, provide a meal, send well wishes … there are many ways that we can give of ourselves to show solidarity with people who are facing difficult circumstances.
Share Hope
COVID breeds conflict in the workplace, and in the communities in which we spend time in-person or virtually. Hope is contagious. By helping others understand that this too shall pass, and that we will emerge stronger as individuals and as a human race because of this adversity, we can give hope for a better tomorrow.
Kindness is also contagious. Imagine what could happen if we made kindness more prevalent in our interactions with people, in our conversations with people, online, and in our thoughts?
If you can’t find your way, call me because I am here for you with a heart filled with hope, love and encouragement.
“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Survey – We are close to making this draw for an iPad, with one ballot going to every person who answered the survey about Workplace Conflict Trends. Please share this with your favorite manager or human resources manager so they can weigh in on what’s happening in our workplaces during the pandemic.
