This past Saturday I was guest lecturer with Gail Alofsin and Trent Theroux at Salve Regina University in Newport, RI, delivering one of my favorite lessons on human connection, which is the topic of listening.
After the usual activity of putting people into pairs and giving them a listening activity, I began a group discussion about the obstacles to listening. Colin (student) said the biggest obstacle was “the other person’s mask”. For the first time in decades of doing this activity, this obstacle was noted. We are challenged by listening to others because the mask is covering their mouth and half of their face.
Emotional Clues Above the Mask
Here are some facial clues to better understand people who are speaking while wearing a mask. What we can see is the eye area, including the shape of the brows, and lines or wrinkles that are formed when the person is experiencing different emotions.
Anger – Look for two parallel lines between the eyebrows.
Contempt – Difficult to spot because a smirk is not evident in the eye area. Listen for sarcasm, or a body language gesture of distancing such as pulled back shoulders, a head that tilts back or a look down one’s nose toward their subject.
Disgust – Look for nose crinkles as if a nasty smell has caused a feeling of disgust.
Fear – Shocked and scared causes brows to widen which creates a lot of white in the eyes.
Happy – True happiness is told by the upper cheek muscles pulling upward, creating crow’s feet wrinkles right below the outer corner of the eye. (Who says crow’s feet wrinkles are a bad thing when they’re associated with happiness??)
Sad – Look for pinched eyebrows, because you won’t notice the frown in someone’s smile.
Surprise – Raised eyebrows create a U shape, providing more white showing in the eyes. The eyebrow shape will differ from fear, because you’ll get that big U from surprise, rather than the widening from fear.
Reading nonverbal cues has become more important than ever. Pay close attention and you’ll be increasing your listening skills, and building rapport and relationships with those speaking to you.
If you can’t find your way, call Penny Tremblay because the high cost of conflict often comes from misunderstandings, which can be rectified with good training. If this topic of reading facial expressions interests you, you can read more here https://www.scienceofpeople.com/masks/
Master the mask, and speaking of masks, enjoy this Halloween week filled with ghosts, goblins and tons of candy!
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