Honouring Ourselves Through Misalignment
As I was driving out to a meeting one dark and snowy evening at a speed of 90 km/h, my Jeep Wrangler, “Ruby”, began to wobble. I became nervous because she’d never done that before, and I was afraid of her breaking down completely on this cold night. I slowed down, geared down and she steadied. Whew! I drove further for a few kilometers and sped up again to reach the speed limit, and again Ruby began to wobble, so I had to shift back down and continue at a much slower pace.
Traffic was on my tail, impatiently swerving to find an opportunity to pass me. I began to feel the pressure of the other drivers’ impatience, and I acknowledged the responsibility I was feeling because of it, even though a slower, steadier pace was right for me at the time. I also found it very hard to watch others pass me, like a transport did as we climbed uphill—“OMG, are you kidding me?!”—while I was slow but steady. Others were passing me by and it was bugging me.
I graciously learned two lessons from the speed wobbles that I’d like to share with you.
The first has to do with the concept of moving slower than the posted speed limit. Sometimes, the standards set by others don’t suit us in our current situation or circumstances, and it’s okay to slow down or produce below those standards so we can remain in motion, but in a steady fashion. Better than maintaining an unsafe speed and crashing! Slow and steady can still win the race. This is true in many aspects of our lives: our spiritual, mental and physical health; our relationships at home and at work; our finances, careers and education. There’s a desired pace and then there’s our pace. They don’t always align. Sometimes we may have to be, do, or have less to accomplish more in the end.
Sometimes we have to allow others to move ahead of us, let them lead us, take care of us, or eat their dust while we regain our balance, but we’ll catch up. It’s not necessarily about ‘time’, but more about ‘timing’. Although we don’t want to wait for anything anymore, we certainly don’t want to watch our family, friends, and colleagues move ahead without us any more than we want to slow them down.
The second lesson I learned from the speed wobbles was how I was affected under the pressures of others’ impatience with my slow pace. What makes their pace more important to me than my needs? Why do I allow the pressures of others to cause me stress when I’ve willingly or unwillingly chosen slow and steady as my temporary path? We honour ourselves by considering our needs before the needs of others, especially when we’re wobbling—a sign that we’re out of alignment. We need to focus our concern on our own need to heal, balance or realign, and not concern ourselves about what others think. They’ll understand and respect us for respecting ourselves. We just need to be honest, vulnerable, and able to talk about these things to those who may show impatience to us. If it’s a passing vehicle giving you the finger—well, that’s where they’re at, not where you’re at, so let them keep their frustration, and you keep your confidence.
Slower than standard is not a place to stay, but sometimes we need to back off or gear down from a pace that’s not right for us so that we can realign and rejoin the race and pace of champions. Don’t ever be afraid to take speed for a road test. There may not be any wobbles at all.
Who would have thought there’d be such rich lessons in the speed wobbles?
Need a speed test, tune up or check up? Call an expert. Call me! You can be sure that I’ll help you or the whole team gain a steady pace.