I’ve learned a tough lesson about holding on.
Sometimes we want something to be a certain way, and so we try to control the outcome. For example, we want a relationship to work out, so we grab on real tight. What happens is the opposite, people fight to get away from our strong hold. So, I’m letting go of the need to control the outcome.
Perhaps you hold a strong opinion that is opposed by someone else in your office. You stick only to your way of thinking. You’re sure that you’re right, but a decision is made that does not agree with your opinion, and you hold on to feelings of resentment stemming from you not getting your way.
Maybe someone is treating you poorly—including you in their drama. Maybe you’re doing that to them.
Maybe you didn’t get your way, and you feel the constant urge to punish or teach a lesson to the person who took it from you.
Maybe you’re holding on to old, unresolved conflict, and hurting the people closest to you in the process because you don’t want to look within and clear up what you don’t like about yourself.
Maybe you’re upset because of a disconnected relationship in your workplace or personal life, and you’re letting negative thoughts take over your entire day.
Maybe you’re plagued with chronic complainers who just want to whine about the way things are or the way they are not.
In each of these scenarios, someone is holding on to something that’s not really flowing with what we like to call ‘ease and grace’. There’s resistance.
When we feel resistance, we take a stance for what we think is right. Our ego wants us to be right. It’s easier to make others wrong than it is to make ourselves responsible. But a stance cannot flow. Things are too rigid. Nothing can move.
If you find yourself taking a stance when confronted with such a situation, these three words will help you: “Let it go!”
To “let it go” can mean a few different things. It can simply mean to loosen up a little—or, on the harsher side of things, to leave someone or something behind. You’ll know what’s right by listening to your own intuition and gut feeling when you consider the issue and your ideas for resolving it. Take a break and put down the problem, even if just for a while, and ask for some guidance. The right ideas will come to you. Sometimes the right ideas will be the exact opposite of what you were expecting or hoping for.
Life isn’t always easy. It’s not about feeling good; it’s about doing what’s right. Don’t drive yourself crazy by hanging on to things that you cannot control. Find a balance between staying connected and disconnecting when necessary.
There’s a relationship between staying connected to something unhealthy, and the fear of vulnerability. What are you afraid to be vulnerable in, that’s causing you to hold onto something unhealthy? That’s an interesting contemplation that should keep you busy for a while.
Letting go is not the same as losing. It’s a way to release yourself from the rigidity and control of a situation, circumstance, or person, thereby freeing yourself to create something new.
What would happen if you just let go of something or someone that you’re really hanging on to when the things aren’t moving in the right direction?
What you resist, persists. ~ Carl Yung
