Are you noticing an increased rate of conflict, turmoil and relationship breakdown in your environment?

As a trainer, speaker, and coach, I always listen for potential topics of interest that appeal to real life and current issues. Recently, the topics of conflict and relationship breakdown have seemed to be up front and center across many organizations, associations, and individuals. What is happening out there?

I have asked for answers from a myriad of different people who have been affected by this common ‘conflict’ cloud, in order to gain a better understanding of a potential common denominator. My findings have included reasons of greed, selfishness, ego, insecurities, and unrealistic demands and even a planetary crisis*.

One of the most powerful forms of literature that I have digested during my professional career has been something called the ‘Character Ethic’, defined by Dr. Stephen Covey. Covey wrote his national bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to help people Restore their Character Ethic.

He writes of the comparison of the Character Ethic, taught in early success literature published in North America, to be a shift within the last 50 years. Covey suggests that views of success shifted to something he termed the ‘Personality Ethic’. Characteristics of each are as follows:

The important message here is that the Character Ethic focus is the foundation to which the Personality function can be properly built. For example, if a positive public image is important to me, but I am known around town to write bad cheques, over time people will uncover the truth about my lack of integrity. As a result of this integrity (character) flaw, my desire for a positive public image (personality) will be tarnished.

A rather generic analogy used to demonstrate the order of importance says – in order to build a solid home we must first ensure a solid foundation. The Character Ethic is that solid foundation which focuses on our own personal value system from which all success can be permanent.

When we encounter conflict, turmoil, breakdown in relations, disloyalty and other negative circumstances, we can look to our Character, or our value system, to aid us in resolution. A clear understanding of our character as a value system can even help us avoid unnecessary distress in the first place. Looking at ourselves when we have a conflict, and comparing our actions to the qualities listed in the Character Ethic column can give us an understanding of where we might improve.

Although not all conflict can be resolved, most of the time all it needs is a discipline of understanding ourselves; a deeper look at who we really are, what we stand for, what is important to us, and what we have determined our purpose to be.

The characteristics listed earlier in the Character Ethic column will, when understood and followed, be a solid foundation for you to make effective decisions, resolve issues, build strong relations, and even possibly proudly let go of a relationship gone bad in order to move forward towards continued success. When we hold true to our values we are taking the high road, and when we take the high road we are closer to our God, our spirituality, and our reason for being.

“Search your own heart with all diligence for out it flows the issues of life.” ~ the Psalmist

Best wishes for permanent success.