It was an emotional day as I said farewell to my 17 year-old Japanese student who’s come to Canada for an English educational experience. She inspired this topic of discipline. Coming from Asia where education is the highest priority for school aged youth, she demonstrated consistency and effort every single day with her routine of study. Before she arrived, I had wanted a more productive routine in my life, which is one reason I said yes to taking one of the 45 youth that came to North Bay from Saga Japan. I was aware of other Asian cultures, so I knew this experience would be good for my new single, independent life, as well as my children’s experience too. I set some written house rules, more about routine, so she could read them and better understand them with the language barrier.
About a month into her stay, we watched The Karate Kid together, and the movie coupled with the experience of watching her habits made me aware of the difference between disciplines in the Asian and Canadian lifestyle. I think we have a lot to learn about discipline from the people of Asian traditions, and I think that our lives would be more productive, our governments more effective, our budgets more useful if we adopted some of the productive efforts that are demonstrated in these ancient ways of living.
It seems like we’re more social here, and that is not a bad thing. But I believe that our social desires do distract us from what could be a more productive result, especially in this era of technology and social media, social networking and the entire knowledge base of the internet right in the palm of our hands.
- Would you like to shift your results in business, relationships or wellness?
- What would you like to be different?
- What discipline (habits) do you need to form to achieve the new result?
- How are you going to stay on course?
I’ve written a full Leadership Tip about the topic, here’s a link.
It’s human nature to want to come out big—to present ourselves as larger-than-life in conversations, relationships, and success. However, in order to come out big, we have to go in first, even though our instincts tell us otherwise.
In one of my keynotes, I talk about going in big before you can come out big, and the concept of expanding on the inside first before you can become big on the outside. The lesson of inner expansion in leadership came to me by watching my favorite golfer swing, over and over again. Dig In and Be Rich – Leadership Tip
It’s human nature to want to come out big—to present ourselves as larger-than-life in conversations, relationships, and success.
However, in order to come out big, we have to go in first, even though our instincts tell us otherwise.
In one of my keynotes, I talk about going in big before you can come out big, and the concept of expanding on the inside first before you can become big on the outside.
Take, for example, my favorite golfer—my son—who wants to send the golf ball as far as possible down the fairway and into the hole with the least number of strokes. To do this, he needs to come out big off the tee. His first motion, however, is not toward the hole. Instead, he draws his club into a full backswing, only then bringing it forward in a more powerful way to connect with the ball and drive it much further than if he’d just teed up and swung forward.
Those of you who play the game of golf will also agree that the toughest six inches of the course are between your ears. It’s your mental game that holds your physical game together.
Regardless of what you wish to become better at, before you can come out in full swing, you need to consider the ways that you need to go in first.
Let’s say you want to come out big during a workplace meeting. You’d naturally think that you have to come out with the right words that appeal to the meeting’s audience. But what if you shifted your approach to go in first? What if you started by listening to what people want, taking in their thoughts and feelings, and then coming out with something relevant to their input? Do you see how you’d engage their interests more effectively and have more influence?
Going in before coming out can also resolve conflict. When dealing with conflict, our natural instinct is to win—to place blame or find fault with the other party involved. That’s your ego wanting to be right and to protect you, but it’s not always the shortest path to resolve. Rather than coming right out with your need to place blame and find fault, you could go in the opposite direction: you could go in and take responsibility for yourself. What did you bring to the conflict? If the conflict within you was triggered by someone else’s actions, it could be a mirror for you to see something within yourself that is unresolved.
Dig in, get messy, and find out for yourself. Explore the connection between what’s happening today and how it relates to something in your past. See what you need to see, own what’s yours, and come out with cleaner hands, bigger and more powerful on the outside than had you not challenged your natural instincts first.
Going inward to develop first on the inside is the only way to come out with your full swing in life. What would happen if you used this strategy to gain more inner expansion, power, and clarity for yourself before coming out swinging?
Dig in, and be rich in all the ways that really matter.
p.s. I’d like to dedicate this article to Henry Brunton, for his dedication to Jr. Golf Coaching
Last week I was eating Chinese food in a little restaurant on Spadina Avenue in Toronto with my good friend and fellow author, Barry Spilchuk. I was speaking to him about being snagged (previous article explains how to best deal with snags) in my personal development because I realized that I was hooked onto something massive. I had received some uncomfortable feedback which had created a huge disturbance within me. Because of it I was contracted, uptight and upset, and just really wanted to get through it.
Being the great friend he is, he listened, understood, and could relate my situation to similar times in his life. We all need friends like this—people we can lean on when we’re not seeing clearly. Barry suggested a book to me by writing on a napkin: “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer. I bought it the very next day, an am in the process of reading it.
The inspiration for my article this month came from the realization of my snag this summer, my encounter with Barry, and the first few chapters of this book; implementing the amazing work of my journey towards inner freedom by staying open to everything.
I’ve realized that a snag is stored energy, no matter what kind of snag it is, and that it’s very hard work to continue to fight against it, work around it, or keep it locked down inside.
I know for sure that being open has made this the absolute best summer of my life.
I encourage you to take some time to read and contemplate my latest article, Are you open for business?, and remove what’s closing off your ability to receive the abundance that life has to offer.
Invest in this rich information, and be fully open for business.
In the workplace, for the best profit, productivity or performance you must be ‘fishing close to bottom’. This metaphor symbolizes that fish are most easily obtained where it makes the most sense to troll—along the bottom. But, as with the lakebed, the workplace environment is rich with obstacles which may snag us. It is important to work in these productive areas and with that comes embracing the dreaded snag; once snagged, going back to fix the hang up, so you can move along again to continue fishing.
If you’re not on bottom, you’re not amongst the fish. The most productive zones can be risky; perhaps you might find yourself caught up in something unexpected or unwanted, or in what seems like a time-waster or barrier to your success, but anything worth having is worth working for.
Where are you snagged in your life and needing to go back and get unhooked?
Are you ‘fishing’ in the workplace, close enough to the bottom for best success?
Are you getting snagged? If not, you’re most likely not as deep into things as you think you are. Let out more line, take more risks, and get into the fast lane. As long as you stop when you’re snagged, back up, resolve your hang up – you will move forward faster and have a catch more abundant than you can imagine. Read my article, Fish On! Overcoming Snags
Wishing you the best fishing, in business and in life,
Are you frustrated about other people not living up to your expectations? Let’s take that thought of everyone else being the problem, and turn it inward. Are you frustrated about not living up to your expectations? This is a common issue that people want resolved. Start by shifting yourself, and watch others magically fall into line.
Let’s start with boundaries. For the next few days, observe your compliance to boundaries?
For example, are you wishy-washy when it comes to making decisions or following rules? When you say ‘no’, does it mean no? or does it mean maybe, we’ll see how I feel at the time? Do you abide by the speed limit, stop signs and distracted driving laws? What about time boundaries? Are you consistently late? Do time boundaries hold firm with you or are they loose? Does your time-management get away from you often?
After observing your behavior toward how you obey boundaries you will see where the slack is. Your non-compliance is bothering you, which is why you are seeing examples of it in other people. Also, those you lead are being improperly influenced by your lack of setting and maintaining firm boundaries.
There are times that we need to be flexible, and times when we need to be firm. Safety requires tight boundaries, where dealing with the emotions of people could require us to be more flexible.
A perfectly tuned instrument makes beautiful music because it is not too tight and not too loose. So too can you live with better harmony with a firm but fair balance using boundaries to guide you more beautifully toward your highest self-expectations.
When others see you respecting yourself with boundaries, they instinctively respect you as well. Read my article this month, Set Boundaries and Be Rich.
“I believe that communication is the most important leadership skill that one can possess for success in business,” I shared with Robin, the CEO of a successful Canadian-wide franchise. Robin has experience working in many different companies and countries around the world.
I asked him, “In your opinion, what is the most important leadership quality?”
“Authenticity,” he said.
“Authentic leaders create environments where exceptional performance is nurtured through honest, intelligent and sincere communications. The very best in people is brought out not through fear of consequences but through a desire to achieve. This is best accomplished, in my experience, where the leadership agenda is all about engaging with genuine candor. It’s pretty simple really. Our goal as leaders is to get talented people totally focused on the work at hand and not waste time with the distractions of politics and implied messages. Once leadership authenticity takes root, people stop looking over their shoulder and become energized around moving the business forwards – not looking backwards.”
Authenticity is paramount in personal and professional leadership, and in order to exercise it, communication skills are key. I learned a deeper lesson in leadership from Robin, and I am grateful to pass it onto you.
You can learn more about The Authentic Leader in my November Leadership Tip at www.PennyTremblay.com
Best wishes for an amazing November,
Top 3 motivators from employee perspective:
According to a recent management study, 46% of employees leave a company because they feel unappreciated; 61% said their bosses did not place importance on them as people and 88% said that they do not receive acknowledgement for the work they do.Whether you are an entrepreneur, manager, parent, teacher, coach, friend or just want to be successful with people, you must master the art of appreciation.The top 3 motivators for employees are: appreciation, feeling ‘in’ on things and displaying an ‘understanding attitude’. That is what our employers want, our customers want and the people in our personal and family lives want.