Presents or Presence?

As the calendar year ends, we enter the holy season—the holidays—and magically begin to open ourselves to more giving and receiving.  When I stop to think about the gifts that mean the most to people, I think of connection, wisdom, acceptance, understanding, compassion and love.

The other day I was running my fingers through my daughter’s long hair while she laid beside me.  In that precious moment, I realized that having my children close to me is my greatest gift. … Hearing their voices come in the door, …watching my dog whine crazily for them when they walk in and having them present with me, is the greatest gift I could ask for.

You too are valuable.  Be the present that others need.

In your workplace – Can you be more tolerant, more disciplined, more patient or more engaged?

At home?  Can you be more emotionally available? More open minded? Can you listen deeper, and seek to understand?

Think about who you’re a gift to at this very moment in your life, and what is it that these people need and want from you.  The answers to these questions are precisely where your presence makes all the difference in your world.  This is where you are the hope, the miracle, the blessing and the love to those who need you the most.

So this season, don’t look for the gift; be the gift.

Don’t look for the light to shine on you; be the light.

Don’t look for the love; be the love.

Rather than looking for the blessing, be the blessing.

Don’t ask for hope; be the hope.

Don’t expect the miracle; be the miracle.

Give your pure presence to others.  There is no better gift.  Life is short, and relationships are everything!

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays,

inspirational speaker, self help author


Pinch Me

My partner and I were having breakfast on the shore of Lake Ontario, looking out over a beautiful marina with the sun dancing across the clear blue water.  “Pinch me” I said, in awe of the beauty around me, the love I feel from him and for him, my spirituality, gratitude for my health, kids, my accomplishments and so on.  We began a deep conversation about the meaning of “pinch me”.

I returned to my hotel room and checked my phone.  A text message from one of my coachee’s (people I coach) said “I’m having such a great time with my Dad on the Athabasca glacier in Alberta. After losing Mom, I realize how precious these moments are.  Pinch me out of this dream!”

‘Pinch me’ became a theme for me for the day, and a contemplation that I wanted to share with you.

In my understanding, ‘pinch me’ is a phrase that says that things are so amazing, I must be dreaming, and need to wake up, or to make sure that this is in fact real life.  In that idea then, it seems that unintentionally we’re somehow sabotaging the situation that we’re speaking of. 

Dreaming as I see it in this context is not real, but imaginary.  Assuming we must be dreaming because things are so amazing invites us to believe that this isn’t normal, or natural.  Waking up as I interpret it is coming back to reality, which is obviously not as heavenly as the place I felt I needed to be pinched in.

Why can’t we be in the amazing moments and really stand in them, and receive them fully, and really feel worthy and deserving of them?  Then perhaps ‘pinch me’ would sound more like, ‘I’ve arrived’, or ‘I’m fully standing in who I was meant to be’, or even just ‘I am worthy and deserving of this abundance’. 

One of the questions I have been asking myself over and over again in the past 6 months is “How much am I willing to receive?”  This has pushed me beyond so many limiting beliefs that it has completely changed my life.

The next time I hear someone say ‘Pinch me’, I am going to do just that.  I am going to pinch them so hard that they squeal, and realize that they are already awake, and that pain of being pinched is not at all what they want to feel, but receiving, worthiness and a sense of deserving is.

If you liked this post, you will love the whole chapter titled Receiving in my new book, Give and Be Rich – Tapping the Circle of Abundance.