Success is Posture – Posture is Success

Our posture is critical to success. I’m not talking about shoulders back, chin up so much as posturing ourselves as confident, influential people who stand up for what they really believe.

In my part-time direct sales business, the word ‘posture’ is used referring to how we present ourselves and our offering in a very confident way.

In my role as a speaker / trainer on the topic of workplace relationships and conflict resolution, I often talk about posture as a personal foundation to improve one’s ability to get along with others and resolve conflict, but regardless of the industry or application, the Olympic podium upon which an athlete steps up to receive a performance medal, is a great analogy.

The bronze step is relative to where you are now in your life, career or business. The silver step would be the next level to achieve, and the gold step the absolute best performance and results possible.

For example, if I consider myself a bronze level keynote speaker today, I’m making myself aware that I could be better, and why I’m not.  This awareness is critical to improving.  I get clear on what I need to do, and be to take the step up to silver. Then repeat that same process to get the gold!

Discovery from the activity is why I’m at the bronze level, (my past performance, successes, failures and lessons learned) as well as a clear understanding of the things I need to be doing more and less of, to attain the next level.

Let’s take this to a workplace example.  The Manager of a department has reasons why they’re currently at a bronze level.  Their Posture Podium Activity might look like this:

“I’m a bronze level manager because I’ve earned this promotion, I have attended training – Play Nice in the Sandbox with Penny Tremblay – to learn how to build productive, peaceful and profitable relationships at work, I’ve approached confrontational conversations with staff when necessary, I’ve reached out for help when needed…. etc. The manager would look at the silver podium spot and list the skills, attributes and successes needed to qualify for earning that next medal on the podium, and likewise for the gold.

Now here’s the real magic.  The distance between bronze, silver and gold on our podium is our own posture!  Our real Work is internal. Compiled with diligent action, accumulated experiences, client testimonials etc., advancing up the scale of success is highly influenced by the belief we have in ourself.

For example, I’ve seen many small business owners, especially women, undervalue themselves, their pricing, and their worth and as a result, sell themselves too short. I believe the toughest distance we need to advance on the podium is only 6 inches between our ears.  It’s a mental shift, a new a mental space to move into.  But … It’s not ego.  It’s not thinking that you’re better than you are, or better than others.  It’s being real, and humble about all that you are, and knowing the work ahead of you to become that world class performer.  Without the mental shift, you won’t step up on the podium.

Own the decisions you’ve made with great confidence.  Own who you are and who you are not and become content with them. Speak to that and know that you don’t have to justify yourself to people.  Allow yourself to be who you really want to be, and free mental state to chase that silver or gold medal that you so desire.

I’d like to invite you to have a workshop in your workplace or place of business, or a coaching activity just with you and I to improve your posturing because I can guarantee you there are people out there who think you’re way more amazing than what you’re giving yourself credit for so it’s high time just step up your posture from bronze to silver and then set your sights on gold!

My activity process to work on increasing one’s posture is an amazing investment.  *Notice my posture in that statement?  🙂

Remember, your greatest leadership day … is with Penny Tremblay

Attract Rich Relationships

I think everyone wants to be more attractive—in other words, to attract more of what we want. Perhaps it’s a partner; maybe it’s the desire to attract more wealth, opportunity, success, love, or respect.

What I know about attraction is that it is vibrational. We attract things similar to the vibrations that we are putting out. So if you want to attract good things, you have to put out good vibes.

Here’s an example: one afternoon, while I was shopping downtown in my beautiful home town, I asked some shop owners how their businesses were doing. The answers that I received were less than positive. There was a sense of doom, gloom, and fear in the shop owners’ responses. Ultimately, this way of thinking will attract more of the same kinds of vibrations. When fear and panic drives our responses, we need to work in the opposite direction of what comes naturally to us.

Check out the great new video on this topic.

Recently, I listened to a conversation at a local coffee meet-up between Mike Campigotto, Ian Kilgour, and other wise community members. The topic was about dealing with negative gossip, and the consensus was to not buy into it. “Keep conversations positive and upbeat,” they agreed, “and for heaven’s sake, don’t be one of those energy vampires that suck the life out of conversations by always complaining about how things aren’t, when there are so many other, greater things to discuss or get involved in.”

Chronic complainers and gossips are often lonely, or they have a few in their circle that like to maintain those same low vibrations. You’ve heard the saying “You become who you have coffee with”. Choose your pack wisely. Rub shoulders with winners, and before long, you’ll be winning too.

Before we can truly speak highly of our business, we need to feel good about it, and that has a lot to do with how we believe we are doing. Sometimes, in order to have good vibrations, we have to believe in what is unseen. A lot of that lies in vision and faith. Faith is being able to go beyond what the eyes can see.

Success starts at the root level of what we believe and how we’re feeling. We emit a vibration of that belief. I refer to this as ‘posture’. People are sensitive to the vibration we put out. If it’s high and positive, they want a piece of it.

Here are some tips to maintain those high vibrations:

Speak positively. Rather than wallowing in self-pity, negative circumstances, cynicism, or judgment, talk about ideas, possibility, and potential. Ask good questions that will lead you to a better understanding of what you can do to improve your business or relationships. Where attention goes, energy finds a match, and the results will come.

You’ll know you’re in a state of high vibration when you feel good. Circumstances beyond your control are going to challenge you, but your job is to feel good (naturally). I don’t mean taking drugs or alcohol, or excessively using any crutch to get you feeling high. I mean really feeling good about who you are, how you are, and where you are. This takes work, but I guarantee that it is the absolute best investment you can make in yourself. People like happy people.

When people ask you how you’re doing, tell them you’re fantastic, happy, or excited for life. Emit an authentic, high-vibrational answer with matching words. Don’t lie. If you can’t honestly say something great about yourself and where you’re at, call me. We’ll get you on track.

If you’re feeling stuck, stagnant, and full of low-vibrational energy, you can always give. Get out there in your community and get involved. Start giving a little more of your beautiful self away. Make a difference. Everyone has the ability to change this world and make it a better place and that, my friends, is very attractive. Not only will you inspire and influence others with your actions of kindness, but you’ll increase your own self-worth and sense of value.

Being attractive has very little to do with how we look and lots to do with our ‘posture’—what we believe, feel, think, and speak.

My purpose and my passion is to foster rich relationships between businesses, employees, and clients so that the world can vibrate at a higher level and be more efficient, harmonious, and abundant. For that to happen, we need to be vibrating at our absolute highest. I’m committed to helping your entire team raise their vibrations and attract rich relationships in business and in life.

Call me, and remember…your greatest leadership day is with Penny Tremblay!

705-358-3396

Be Disciplined and Be Rich

The most coveted human virtue is self-control, which is synonymous to discipline.  People yearn to possess better discipline, especially when they know it’s power in personal leadership and self-development.  Over my career, I’ve learned that there are professional development strategies that even if taught, don’t get implemented, until foundational personal habits to support them are solid.  Discipline is one of them.  For example, how can I teach or learn time management skills if I cannot first make and keep commitments?

At the beginning of this year the theme was about planning.  Goal setting, strategic and even personal planning ideas, tips and strategies were shared with you.  We are now entering the second quarter of the year.  Are you on track with your goals?  Of course, if you want to be more disciplined, you must be clear on what result you’re looking for.

Based on your goals, how are you doing?  Are you on track, or off track?  Use these three questions to find out why you haven’t achieved your goals.

  • What do you need to be doing more of (and when)?
  • What do you need to be doing less of (and when)?
  • Who do you need to spend more time with, and who do you need to spend less time with?

With the answers to these questions, you’ll have the specific road map on how to get where you need to be.  Here’s an example of what I needed to be doing more of, and when.  When I got disciplined to the action of doing it, the results were even more perfect than I could have imagined.

About 6 months ago, I time blocked mornings as follow up time.  Calls to prospects, checking in on proposals, and cold calling (or connection making as I call it).  The difference was immediate, and intense.  I knew what to do, but only when I became disciplined to do it and say ‘no’ to other shiny ideas, tasks or distractions, did the results show like gas being thrown on a fire.  Where do you need more discipline?

I have committed to sharing my strategies and knowledge about discipline this month.  I have created an awesome little video with tips and ideas, and I will blog about a personal experience that inspired the topic, so be sure to check them out.  Personally, I know that my most important discipline is my spirituality, and then second is my health.  Family is next.  Why?  Because I have to take care of myself to be a good leader and influence for others. Make sure you’re taking care of the machine with a good balance.  The machine is YOU.  Your body, mind and spirit need to be nurtured, fed, rested and rewarded.  Only when you’re well balanced can you have the power of full engagement to empower your actions.

I am sure much of this resonates with you.  If you’re seeking better discipline, I have a coaching program well suited for individuals or teams wanting bigger results.

So remember, be disciplined, and be rich and … that your greatest leadership day is with Penny Tremblay.

Improve Workplace Relationships with Love

“Love in the workplace” is not a phrase you hear often, but in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to talk about it.

We have relationships with everyone in our workplace.  Some may be closer than others; some may be kind and courteous; and others may be challenging, disconnected or downright nasty!  You can improve workplace relationships starting today.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my career as an expert on Workplace and Business Relations, it’s that there is a big difference between love and relationships.  Love is easy, but relationships are hard.

For Valentine’s Day, I’d like to invite you to celebrate the fact that you have relationships, and that these relationships have taken effort.  Congratulations!

Valentine’s Day is an outward expression, like giving flowers, cards or chocolate.  I’d like to challenge you to outwardly recognize your colleagues today.  You don’t have to acknowledge them with gifts—words will do.  You can improve workplace relationships with Love

Words like “I love the way you serve customers for us.”

Or “I’m happy you’re my boss because you seem to care about me as a person.”

“We need you.”

“Your skillset is valuable to us.”

 “I appreciate you because…”

I use the phrase “love in the workplace” to symbolize the important things we do to connect and build rapport, like sharing admiration, giving respect, and honouring, appreciating and complimenting the people around us!  These acts of recognition are free and only take a few seconds, but they build relationships because we are all emotional creatures of pride and vanity.  We all want to feel valuable and feed our worthiness.

If you’re up for another challenge, consider reconnecting a disconnected relationship in your workplace.  Look someone in the eye and pay him or her a genuine compliment.  Oh, and by the way, “Mary, you look hot in those pants” isn’t an appropriate “love in the workplace” compliment.  Speak true words when you find something to compliment about.  If you can’t think of something nice to say, either you’re not thinking hard enough, or you need my conflict resolution services!

Even if you have to resort to writing the compliment or recognition in a little note because you’re afraid of the face-to-face conversation, do that.  In my humble opinion, nothing beats a face-to-face or a phone call to convey sentiments.  The energy that you pass into the sacred invisible reservoir between two people will have a lasting affect.

Interacting and intertwining our energy with someone else to result in a positive interpersonal relationship doesn’t always go as planned.  But this is where we learn the most about ourselves.  Relationships shine a light on our most needed lessons.

Remember that love is easy, but relationships are hard.  The way to better relationships is through love, respect, honour, and authentic communication with people who matter.

Love is a verb.  Take some action that is going to move someone else, especially if there’s a need between you and a co-worker.  A conflict. A disconnect.  Take a step toward reconciliation today.  Call me if you need help.  A big part of what I do is help people fix broken relationships in the workplace.

Never underestimate the power of this invisible, energetic connection that you can put effort into.  Create more love in your workplace, and remember, your greatest leadership day is with Penny Tremblay.

 

Are You Strategically Planning for All Areas of Life?

This past week I was immersed in my own strategic plan for 2017 and beyond.  The new year always catapults me into goal setting and strategy, where I first look back at the previous year and acknowledge my accomplishments and the lessons learned, as well as my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

I set BHAGs (big, hairy, audacious goals) and then I chunk them down to the minutia of tasks that need to be done daily, so that the BHAGs will be realized one day.  Basically, I look at critical issues that need solutions to overcome.  Once I get clear on these, I look at how they need to be conquered.  Once I know what I need to do, I analyze how I currently have been spending my time, versus how I need to spend my time to achieve the BHAG.  I schedule checkpoints throughout the year.  Monthly reviews of where I am versus where I’m going, and quarterly planning days.  It takes time to do this, but it’s worth the effort.  Well worth the effort!

One thing that I as a woman value more than money is balance.  I explained to my accountant one year who was disappointed in my balance sheet, that balance means more than numbers to me.  I’m a Mom, and I was a wife at the time, a daughter, friend, community giver of my time and service, I’m fit, fun and fabulous and that is all valuable to me as well as the revenue and profits of how I spend my time.

Since that conversation with the accountant, I’ve also learned that a part of me was ‘justifying’ not being profitable enough.  Last year I raised my bar on my own performance and the profits went up.  My balance is still on, and my balance sheet has improved.

I’ve learned to plan my work and work my plan.  We don’t become rich by dreaming and planning.  We become rich by putting our dreams and plans in to action.  We expand with the experiences of trying and trying again, fine tuning and being wide open to receiving all that comes, distilling the ideas and ways to spend our time down to what works, and where to focus.

Businesses and organizations need a Strategic Plan to guide them through the wide range of possibilities and reign in their employees to align with one main focus.

Personally, our strategic plan can be as fun as a vision board, or vision card, or written goals that are reviewed every day, and shared with the people that matter most to us.

As the calendar year turns, this is a great time to plan.  You are the Creator of your own life.  This is not a dress rehearsal.  YOLO (you only live once) and therefore, every single second of every single day is worth really, fully living.

My Strategic Planning facilitation is getting lots of attention and referrals.  Thank you for your trust in me.  I go through the same process with my clients as I’ve mentioned above.

My Vision Card exercise is available for personal use.  Download it here, and enjoy.

I’d love to hear how you’ve made out, and I’m more than happy to help businesses and people grow with these great tools. Just call me with your questions. 705-358-3396

rich relationships, leadership training

 

 

Giving With No Strings Attached

‘Tis the season for giving, and there’s no better season to practice the gift of giving with no expectations.

I wrote the book on it, but I also need practice. I’ve recognized times when I am not giving unconditionally, and I have learned that we often have a motivation beyond just giving for the sake of giving. Giving with no strings attached is not as easy as one might think, but the reward is well worth the practice.

Take the following excerpt from Give and Be Rich:

Giving unconditionally is key. If we simply give without the expectation of receiving anything in return, we are giving properly. Many people however give with conditions attached. They have an underlying motivation for giving; one common motivation is recognition, another is control. This is our ego working, wanting to be right, wanting to be noticed, wanting to protect us from being vulnerable. I believe that the hearts that give – in any capacity and without expectations of return or favour – will be the most richly blessed. Furthermore, when we give in secrecy or anonymity, we receive in greater abundance. Give without the expectation of receiving anything in return. When you give with the intention of getting something back, you just don’t make the same impact.

Whether it be a gift to someone special (young or old), a workplace compliment, some time to invest in a relationship, helping someone, a charitable donation etc. try giving all that you’re offering this season with an openness that allows the recipient to receive it their way, and just feel rich knowing that your gift came from the heart with no strings attached. Sounds easy, but it’s actually quite a spiritual workout.

Strings attached to giving can have many symptoms, some of which include expectations of gaining something in return (which usually leads to disappointment), judgement of how someone is responding or reacting to your gift, frustration that you’re not getting equal to or more than you’re giving.

With no attachment, I am sending you a wonderful blessing this season of Rich Relationships with all those who really matter to you, and even those whom you’ve struggled to have a healthy connection with.

Wising you inner peace, joy and contentment,

leadership training

 

Reboot, Reset, Recharge

Reboot, Reset, Redesign, Redefine or Recharge … We’re familiar with all of these terms as ways to return to new again.

We know that the most convenient ‘fix’ for most technologies is a reboot. To turn something off and back on again often clears out any glitch and allows for full function, but what does a ‘reboot’ mean in your personal or professional life? How can you benefit from a reset, redesign or redefinition of who you are, where you’re going and how you’ll get there?

For me, a ‘reboot’ means turning off all electronics, silencing all voices other than my inner one, and just being in the nothingness. It means being still, unavailable to others, yet connected to my source energy.

I’ve learned that my personal wellness changes with relationships that are in jeopardy but really matter to me. Add on top of that the business aspects of being an entrepreneur, and there can be a whole lot spinning, with very little traction. Often I need to reboot, reset, refuel and recharge. I can do this in nature, in silence, by myself, or with someone who helps me refocus. When I take the time out, then return to task, I feel clear and can focus, re-engage and gain traction on what I’m doing. You might be saying “I already know that”, but do you do it?

On the subject of time management, I’ve always said that one hour of uninterrupted time is equivalent to eight hours of interruptions considering the level of productivity that we can achieve with laser focus. So too is the power of nothingness for our refueling of energy. A reboot for ourselves—like our technology—is needed more often than we think, because we have so much going on in our minds.

If we want to regenerate our ways of being, we need to escape the busy-ness and find our stillness. If we want to be creative, we need a space for our creativity to stir up new ideas. Quiet, still downtime is effective. Fitness, fun and fresh air are tools to help us overcome overwhelming periods and lift our spirits.

Sometimes doing nothing is doing everything.

August is a time of renewal for me. Not only is it my birthday and a time that I think about my upcoming busy season and what I want to redesign for the year ahead, but it’s also the closing of the summer months that I need to use for rest and relaxation. I definitely want to make sure I’ve had some down time and created some space for my creativity to soar.

We are in the habit of recharging our devices, but are we in the habit of recharging ourselves? How could you benefit by adjusting your routine to recharge or reset? Plug in and expect a fresh, new, clear and clean outlook of where you are, why you desire what you want, and what you need to do to live it.

If you’re too busy to reboot, reset or recharge, you’ll definitely want to read my last leadership tip, Too Busy first, then … reboot as prescribed. 🙂

If working tirelessly then resting interests you, you’ll love this private mentoring program:

5 Days of Private Resort Session – Become your personal best for a lifetime!

Are You ‘Too Busy’?

I know you’re busy so I’m going to get to the point: we use the excuse or the story that we’re ‘too busy’ all the time. Regardless of what you’re spending your time doing, you’re filling it with something. But are you filling it with the right things? Or does your story just say that you’re too busy, preventing you from doing the right things?

We somehow equate being busy with being valuable. We pride ourselves on what we accomplish or involve ourselves in, and somehow being busy fulfills an inner desire to be worth more, or just worthy. Being self-employed, I see a big difference between busyness and business, and I’ve learned from experience how to put twice as much into my life.

I’ve learned that people will always make time and money for the things that are important to them, and that things that matter least often get in the way of things that matter most. I’ve also learned that we use the reasonable excuse that we’re ‘too busy’ to do things that we really don’t want to do, or are afraid to do.

Prime Examples

Almost nine years ago, a woman from Sudbury contacted me several times to show me a service that would help my business grow. I was ‘too busy’ to listen. Thankfully, she was persistent because I finally listened to her after her tenth attempt to follow up with me, and my business has grown and benefited tremendously as a result of using her service. When I look back on the experience, I wonder, “What was I thinking? How could I have been ‘too busy’ to listen to something so beneficial?” It took me too long to make time and money for something that was important—building a bigger business—because I was too wrapped up in the day-to-day operation of the way things were going at the time to see the importance of implementing a new tool.

An example of things that matter least occupying my time instead of those that matter most is when I added the task of writing my book to the already full plate I had. I used to find things to keep me busy, so I couldn’t write the book! Things like alphabetizing my paper clips, organizing my drawers, cleaning my floors, and other useless tasks I could use to fool myself into seeming busy, but I wasn’t doing the right things to get me closer to my goals.

In relationships, people use ‘too busy’ to have important conversations. If a relationship is in trouble, one (or more) of the parties in that relationship may find themselves ‘too busy’ to talk about the needs of the relationship as they put things that matter least before the critical conversations or resolutions that need to be nurtured.

We Can Put More In

Did you ever notice that some people can get two, three, or even four times more done in a day than you can in a week? Notice how they’re not ‘too busy’? They’re not spending time talking about how busy they are or creating excuses for why they can’t do what they want or need to do. They’re just doing it—all of it—and they’re open for more. Recognize that we use the reasonable excuse of having other things that occupy our time in order to avoid doing things that are difficult, important (although we do not value them as such), or frightening. Never underestimate the fact that fear drives so much of our behavior, but the ego masks this fear with reasonable excuses that we actually believe.

We use ‘too busy’ as a habit-forming crutch. We create habits of doing and not doing because we’re ‘too busy’ to be doing what we need to be doing!

How do we self-correct? We need to be very clear about what we’re up to. Be on to yourself. Notice when your addiction to urgency and busyness distracts you from the most important things in your life. Ask yourself, “Why? Why am I alphabetizing my paper clips, organizing my drawers or cleaning my floors when there are areas of my life calling out for my attention?”

What’s Your Excuse?

If you’re not really too busy, then what’s your excuse? The truth is that there is none. Pack your life full of all the things you need to say ‘yes’ to, including rest and relaxation, new business opportunities, doubling your sales and income, having those difficult conversations, and all the things within your reach. Time is a gift, and we only have so much of it. Seize each moment. It would be a shame to give up on a dream because you’re ‘too busy’ to make the time and effort to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway, with or without you trying, so just believe that there is always more space to be more, do more and have more.

If ‘too busy’ sounds like your story, you’re actually telling the universe to hold off on delivering you any more because you’re jam-packed and you have no space left as it is.

Where are you using the excuse of ‘too busy’ in your life, that’s preventing you from living the life of your dreams?

leadership training

p.s. I have all the time in the world for all of my readers, clients and referrals. Bring it on!

Speed Wobbles

Honouring Ourselves Through Misalignment

As I was driving out to a meeting one dark and snowy evening at a speed of 90 km/h, my Jeep Wrangler, “Ruby”, began to wobble. I became nervous because she’d never done that before, and I was afraid of her breaking down completely on this cold night. I slowed down, geared down and she steadied. Whew! I drove further for a few kilometers and sped up again to reach the speed limit, and again Ruby began to wobble, so I had to shift back down and continue at a much slower pace.

Traffic was on my tail, impatiently swerving to find an opportunity to pass me. I began to feel the pressure of the other drivers’ impatience, and I acknowledged the responsibility I was feeling because of it, even though a slower, steadier pace was right for me at the time. I also found it very hard to watch others pass me, like a transport did as we climbed uphill—“OMG, are you kidding me?!”—while I was slow but steady. Others were passing me by and it was bugging me.

I graciously learned two lessons from the speed wobbles that I’d like to share with you.

The first has to do with the concept of moving slower than the posted speed limit. Sometimes, the standards set by others don’t suit us in our current situation or circumstances, and it’s okay to slow down or produce below those standards so we can remain in motion, but in a steady fashion. Better than maintaining an unsafe speed and crashing! Slow and steady can still win the race. This is true in many aspects of our lives: our spiritual, mental and physical health; our relationships at home and at work; our finances, careers and education. There’s a desired pace and then there’s our pace. They don’t always align. Sometimes we may have to be, do, or have less to accomplish more in the end.

Sometimes we have to allow others to move ahead of us, let them lead us, take care of us, or eat their dust while we regain our balance, but we’ll catch up. It’s not necessarily about ‘time’, but more about ‘timing’. Although we don’t want to wait for anything anymore, we certainly don’t want to watch our family, friends, and colleagues move ahead without us any more than we want to slow them down.

The second lesson I learned from the speed wobbles was how I was affected under the pressures of others’ impatience with my slow pace. What makes their pace more important to me than my needs? Why do I allow the pressures of others to cause me stress when I’ve willingly or unwillingly chosen slow and steady as my temporary path? We honour ourselves by considering our needs before the needs of others, especially when we’re wobbling—a sign that we’re out of alignment. We need to focus our concern on our own need to heal, balance or realign, and not concern ourselves about what others think. They’ll understand and respect us for respecting ourselves. We just need to be honest, vulnerable, and able to talk about these things to those who may show impatience to us. If it’s a passing vehicle giving you the finger—well, that’s where they’re at, not where you’re at, so let them keep their frustration, and you keep your confidence.

Slower than standard is not a place to stay, but sometimes we need to back off or gear down from a pace that’s not right for us so that we can realign and rejoin the race and pace of champions. Don’t ever be afraid to take speed for a road test. There may not be any wobbles at all.

Who would have thought there’d be such rich lessons in the speed wobbles?

Need a speed test,  tune up or check up?  Call an expert.  Call me!  You can be sure that I’ll help you or the whole team gain a steady pace.

Dedicated to Rachel W. and Cheryl V. You’ve both inspired me tremendously.

The Key to Staying Committed

I once heard a great statement from the CEO of the Union of Ontario Indians.  While speaking to his team about staying committed he said, “If I’m not doing my job, please let me know, but don’t let it stop you from doing your job.”  I will always remember this piece of wisdom, and I’ve shared it with so many audiences since.

People resonate with this because they form teams, agreements, pacts, set goals or create dreams together, but if someone falls out of commitment, sometimes everyone comes to a halt, blames those who quit and remain frustrated failures at what they had committed to.

I’d say this scenario is a reasonable excuse to quit, give up, or return to the status quo.  People often don’t realize the underlying reasons they have for buying into others’ lack of commitment, but they are definitely getting something out of it, for example, it’s a good excuse to not put in your best effort because others aren’t.

Twice this week, I chatted with clients who’ve been challenged with the commitment of a team. A community leader spoke of his disappointment in a group that had a great idea and implemented it, but after a few roadblocks, people started wavering on their commitments, and the project fell apart.  I suggested to the leader that he not quit.  Others may quit, but that doesn’t mean he has to.  His satisfaction should not be at the mercy of other people’s decisions.

Another commitment conversation I had was with a group of First Nation Youths who had been fundraising for a trip to explore the West coast of Canada,  when some of their adult resources hadn’t honoured a commitment.  I told the youths that this was the time for them to step up, take the lead, and win that race.

If we let others determine our destiny, we will most often be disappointed.

When helping a team stay committed, you can hold people accountable, but in order to be in the place of doing so, you’ve got to be holding up your end of the agreement, too.

Commitment is continuing to do what you’ve said you’d do,
long after the feeling you had when you made the commitment has gone.

Commitment is not a feeling.  It’s a decision!

If you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship, you can certainly relate to that definition of commitment.  I’ve learned that when you fear someone is not remaining committed, you can stay committed regardless.  I didn’t learn it the first time around, but I’m learning it now.  My soul knows when I am all in, and I feel steady despite any wavering of others.

The key to staying committed is to not quit.  Try this statement over and over again.

I commit … I will not quit!
I commit … I will not quit!
I commit … I will not quit!

Your satisfaction depends on you, and no-one else.

p.s.  As a follow up to the group of First Nations Youth fundraising for a trip to Vancouver, they re-committed yesterday despite the low funds raised, NOT TO QUIT.  They have a dream, to explore another part of the country and to prove to themselves and their community that anything is possible with commitment.  If you’d like to read about their progress or help out, check out their CBC news coverage.